my brother used to tell me to hold my breath until i could hear the ocean in my head. and i did, it was a soft roar of sky fighting sea. eventually when my eyes rolled back like waves, he would make me breathe so i didn't drown.
he was always there to tell me to breathe out but now he is gone and i am forgetting how to.
we were very young when our father died (fell from a cliff photographing the moon) and our mother started dating the milkman. he was gangly man with white hair but otherwise very handsome. we didn't mind him at all. he made our mother smile and brought warm milk every night. but we missed our father and his stories about stars and planets.
one night we tried in vain to bring our father back to life in this man, he lay on our bed and we begged a story. but rather than talk about the grandeur of the milkyway he told us the percentages (down to 7 figures) of the essential vitamins in milk. we yawned and slept as he watched on proudly, thinking he had inspired delighting dr